“Meet Me at the Hyphen”

Last night I pulled a trick at the Waldorf-Astoria. The “Hyphen” is a notorious hotel in Midtown, Manhattan, and the suites are supposed to go for six hundred sixty dollars and up a night, but I haven’t seen a flophouse that chintzy since Paris.

The Waldorf does, however, carry a spectacular array of delicacies: miniature condiments. And they’ll let you in without an I.D. before 11PM! So, if you’re quick about it, you can dumpster room service and pad your bag with scented toiletries and miniature bottles of Hellman’s. It’s true, I may never eat it, but isn’t it the cutest?